Chuck Norris

How could Chuck Norris possibly be the subject of today’s entry? Maybe he came to visit and there was a big karate show? Maybe he was here selling his favorite him gym equipment (although most guys would want him to bring Christie Brinkley instead)? Maybe he was here promoting strong Christian values (promoting one of his books/columns)? If you had guessed any of these you would be wrong.

Let me back up, I am at an Army camp close to the Iraq/Kuwaiti border…it is a transition spot for most folks. They get required training before entering into Iraq. I myself did some training here so I could cross the border (more on that later in a different blog). My point is that this camp (I keep wanting to say base) has many many varied units here. All the major services and many coalition forces can be seen on a walk down any of the dusty roads. The thing that strikes me most about the camp…is the youth of America. They are here at this place. They are all very young and all have large guns (as compared to my wimpy 9mm pea-shooter). God-Bless them – they are preparing to head into harms way and seem to be eager about it. They aren’t so quick to engage a goofy major in another service so I don’t interact with them much other than the occasional salute (remind me to tell you about the goofy uniforms) or at meal-time and I ask one of them next to me about who he is and where he is going. Sorry I’m getting off on a tangent…we’ll get back to Chuck in a minute. Anyway it’s striking to see all of them. Especially when I lead a very sheltered life surrounded at work by mostly men over the age of 50.

One of the reasons I notice the youth is the bathrooms. They are covered with graffiti (inside the stalls). It’s like High School. There’s profanity, misspelled words (usually right instead of write), bravado about your hometown/background/service, not so pleasant drawings (often of women)…and last but not least…phrases involving Chuck Norris.

In case you don’t know the “services” have some fascination with Chuck Norris. I’ve seen it at various locations throughout my career. When I was at AFIT many students would use Chuck in their briefings/presentations. HE was the joke to help make things funny. You needed to think up some new system to solve a problem. You always started with Chuck…of course we can’t put chuck Norris everywhere…so we had to think of a better solution. He’s kind of a mythical character to the military. A true American hero. He knows karate and can kick any one’s tail, he knows guns and he works out with models on all those gym equipment commercials. SO you get the picture…he’s the stuff. So finally I’ll get to the point. There are sayings on the bathroom walls about chuck. Here are a few I’ve noticed (I’ll not mention the many many vulgar ones). CN doesn’t sleep he waits, CN visited the Virgin Islands...now they are known as "The Islands", CN is delta force, The quickest way to a man's heart is with CNs' fists, CN’s tears cure cancer…and then my all time favorite so far. …. Chuck Norris counted to infinity – TWICE. It cracks me up every time I think about it. If only Chuck knew how these guys covet him.

Here’s to Chuck……….…infinity…twice….oh it kills me.